Reminders for Adoptees Who May Be Struggling

Dear Adoptee, if you’re struggling and in need of a hopeful message, here are some reminders and advice from fellow adoptees:

Amy

Keep a journal or a notepad and write a list of things that bring you joy, make you smile, make you laugh, things you dream of, places you want to travel to, things you want for your life. Name the people, places and things that you are grateful for. Doing this regularly, no matter how trivial it may seem begins to show us who we are and prompts our minds to look for the joy. - Amy, @am_silva

Ana

Hey adoptee! Just a couple of reminders for you that have helped me through this past year:

• You are not sinking, look around! You're moving through the storm!

• You are thriving!

• Own your greatness!

• You are a sacred human.

• You deserve love.

• You are lovable.

• Hug your fear and anxiety. It's protecting you.

• You are enough.

• You are not your wounds.

• You got this!

- Ana, @anafeliciacarrilloacosta

Anna

Adoptees often forget that we are beautiful beings, because we look different than the family around us. Comparing ourselves to others drives the need to be accepted by them. Once we accept ourselves as beautiful, we are more likely to stand strong against the many social stigmas assigned to adoptees. We are the authors of our lives. Have fun and be creative with your life. Be the creator of the beautiful life of which you dream. You are beautiful. Remind yourself of this every morning! Inspired by “To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” —Thích Nhất Hạnh (one of my favorites). - Anna, @identity_dna

DJ

I've been hospitalized. I've wondered if have what it takes to keep going. There is no one size fits all, but what helps me is listening to music that reminds me how strong I am. And I'll cry. And I'll remember how hard I fought to make it today. You can keep pushing for one more hour, one more breath. I believe in you. - DJ, @amateur_bandit

Herstory

I was 27 when I met my birth parents, and my adoptive family ex-communicated me without explanation. This led to a major mental health crisis and identity split, as my 'adopted self' fell apart and there was nothing to fill the void. I became suicidal, and whenever I struggle, I recall the edge of the cliff I went to (metaphorically and in reality) and it comforts me to know I have survived, connected with other adoptees, and faced those dark roots to find light. Whenever things feel too hard, I try to remember: everything passes, we are never really alone, our suffering connects us with our past and present, and with each other. - Herstory, @herstorylondon

Emily

Remember that you are loved, you are intelligent, and you are ENOUGH! - Emily, @emily.da

Isaiah

Fellow adoptee here. I am sorry you're hurting today, your pain is valid, real and heavy. You will see better days, hold onto hope and believe you are loved. Tomorrow is a new day. - Isaiah, @isaiah.james

Kristen

You have been through so much! Don’t allow others to gaslight you and say otherwise. You know what your true experience has been in your heart. It can take a long time to get the voices of others out of your head, telling you it wasn’t that bad, but it does get easier. <3 - Kristen, @girlxadapted

Martha

Learn to Spoil and Pamper yourself. We've been through so much as Adoptees. We deserve unlimited happiness. - Martha, @_marthalicious

Nicole

Sad, angry, lonely days have to happen in order to heal. Processing emotions looks different for everyone, but know that your community will be there when the storm passes. Your state of mind can be the difference between feeling safe and accomplished and feeling hopeless. On rough or super accomplished days, don't try to redesign your life. Have the courage to patiently honor your waves. Although your emotions may vary greatly from day to day, you stay inherently good. Discomfort is different from negative stagnation. The journey of an adoptee is lifelong but doesn't have to be traveled alone. Your therapy may not be sitting in a chair with an older white non-adoptee. Try groups, virtual communities and creative activities that make you remember that you exist. Period. - Nicole, @theraputic_babe

Patrick

Dear adoptee, I've learned that it's okay to not be okay. Bad things come and sometimes, they stick around. But what I've also learned is this: you're not alone, and you never were. - Patrick, @patrickintheworld

Rachel

You are strong. You are worthy. You deserve to feel seen. If you are lost in a storm now, know there are so many adoptees here and around the world who care deeply for you. Your storm is our storm, and we will always sit with you until it passes. - Rachel, @birthmark.stories

Sarah

Adoption is part of your story but it doesn't have to define who you are. You are so much more than adoption. Remember you are not alone. - Sarah, @perudatos51

Sun Mee

Know that you are not alone on this journey and that nothing is wrong with you. You always have the choice about when, where, or how you attend to your inner world. You may start by sharing with someone you trust and feel safe with. See how it feels to turn towards yourself with compassion and patience. A simple and effective way to do that is to place your hands on your heart and really feel your heartbeat. Healing takes time and is a lifelong journey that you can learn to navigate better. Every small step is a win! - SunMee, @numaru.truebelonging

Taylor

Believe in the impossible and trust in the power that you have in yourself. Connect with other adoptees when you feel alone or like you’re at a dead end - we are here rooting for you and we understand you. I’ve met other adoptees who have accomplished the seemingly impossible and the most important lesson I’ve learned is that we are stronger together. - Taylor, @thadzuck

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Dear Adoptee, remember you are not alone and you deserve support — we are so glad you’re here. 💛